Your Vision. Your Life. In Action

How Did I Get Here?

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I do remember it like it was yesterday.  

My husband and I were struggling financially. We had been for many years. Every month or so I would beg him to sit with me and solve the problems we had created. Every month he would promise me that he would…. And then nothing would happen.

It took us a long time to get here. A place where we weren’t communicating, where we were living alone in the same house. We used to work together on everything. I can’t really remember when it stopped but that day, I realized that it did.  

I also realized that I was behaving like a VICTIM; that I was behaving as if things were happening TO me. That alone shook me up. It was if I heard God say to me, You Are NOT a Victim! Stop behaving like one. In that millisecond I decided to take control of the situation that with him, or without him I figure this out and make it better. I even declared it loudly out loud!  

My mother always told me to be careful for what I wished for 🙂 In that moment of declaration I had no idea what I was opening up to the Universe.

Minutes later the clang of the mailbox startled me out of my trance.  I sighed and spoke outloud, “better late than never”. You see, I had stopped opening the mail a long time ago. The creditors sending us nasty letters threatening that my credit rating would be ruined. HELLOOOOO It was ruined!  So, why bother (see Victim mentality).   

I decided to be courageous and start gathering all of the Bills and find out how much money we really did owe. I opened up his Credit Card statement that just came in.  I no longer had anything in my name.  We were trying to preserve one of our credit ratings so anything that we owed money on, was in my name – except the credit card. I figured we might owe $1000 on it. I opened it up and we owed $8,000. WTF!   

With dismay I looked at what the charges were and found something I WAS NOT expecting … a subscription to a dating site. Sick to my stomach, breath shallow, I call. One ring, two rings, three and he picks up.  

I embarrassingly tell him why I opened his mail. Thank goodness he isn’t upset and then I ask the obvious and the unaskable…. “I found a subscription to a dating site, you aren’t cheating again are you?”.  I hold my breath and wait.  

Without a beat he states, of course not!  You told me you wouldn’t stay, why would I do that? I love you. Someone must have stolen my credit card and ordered it, I’ll cancel the card right away.  

We chat some more as if nothing is wrong and hang up.

I hear the clock on the wall; tick tock tick tock and all of a sudden I feel like someone is punching me in the gut! The voice I hear is, Do NOT BE A VICTIM. You know this isn’t true.  

With shaking hands I call him back and tell him the unthinkable.  After 16 years of marriage… I whisper, “I don’t believe you”.  With ferocious denial he gives me the password to his email for me to go look.  

Well, what he doesn’t know is that I have become a little more tech savy in my days and I find what he believes is not findable. Every email, every intimate detail about the woman he loves now. I see the words he used to say to me when we were first married. The declarations of love, promises of forever…. I.  FALL. TO MY KNEES.  

I am numb! It cannot be. I cannot comprehend; how has this been going on for over a year? How could I not have seen it? Heard it? Known it?  

In an instance everything that I think I know goes out the window.  

I am in so much pain, I cannot breath. I do not want to live. I look around for something, someone to wake me up and tell me it’s just a bloody nightmare and to my dismay no one does.  

I do hear a familiar noise… my children are returning from school. How am I to function as if nothing has happened? What do I say? I look around me and everything looks different.  I look down at my body and I feel disconnected, as if I am in a dream state.  

I have not been the same since then. At one time I was angry with him for what he had done ‘to me’ and over the last 3 years I have realized this man has done nothing TO me but he has played a role in my life. He has helped me appreciate who I am. His infidelity has shaped me to be the woman I am today and I am GRATEFUL to him.  Without his part, I would have stayed the same….  Today I can say that I love ME. I have fought hard to become her and I am grateful and feel blessed.  

I’m Not Fearless

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Some days, like today, I struggle with self worth.  I wake up in the morning with the desire to get ‘things done’ and then for whatever reason I get behind schedule. 

Some days, like today, I worry that I won’t be good enough to make this business work.

Have you ever felt this way?  That you have a passion?   A deep desire to make a difference in the world AND at your core you know you are meant to share it…  

But then doubt creeps in, my saboteur creeps in and tells me that I don’t have what it takes.   SIGH.  Although she is such a bitch and I want to tell her to fuck off there is a part of me that listens to her.  

What IF I can’t do this?  What if she is right?  What if I can’t’ express to people why I want to work with them?  How I think I can help them….   What if I… FAIL??  

It is with those words that I hear myself say, so what?  So what if you try this and you fail.  Wouldn’t It be worse if you just didn’t do it?  Isn’t not trying far worse than failing?

When I was 44 years old I decided to compete in my first every Body Building Competition.  Most women retire at that age.  My WHY was very strong though.  I had told my kids that they could accomplish ANYTHING they wanted to if they:

  1. Have a desire.
  2. Set a goal.
  3. Measure their results
  4. Adjust their behaviour to achieve said goal OR  
  5. Adjust their goal – sometimes you think you want something and then find out that it you didn’t set a high enough goal OR the goal can be reached but not in the timeframe you set out.  

My WHY was so strong that it helped me overcome all of my fears.  Fear of losing my husband because he would be jealous, fear of looking silly on stage at my age, fear of not achieving goal, (AKA failing), fear of being judged by my father, fear of what people would say.  

In the midst of fear I hear myself say… so what?  So what if you try this and it doesn’t work out?   In the midst of the fear I draw myself tall and breath deep.  I remember my why.  

I have a message inside of me that I want other women to hear.  At our core we grow up with ‘you are not good enough’.  It’s nobody’s ‘fault’ it just is.  

I want to shout from the rooftop that you are good enough, worthy enough to achieve anything you want to all you have to do is.

  1. Have a desire.
  2. Set a goal.
  3. Measure your results along the way.
  4. Adjust.

 

YOU at your core ARE WORTHY.

Plexus Worldwide

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One of my passions has always been health and fitness.   My first business was a Curves Franchise and it was there that I was able to share my message of “love the body you are in” and “do the things that your body craves”; eat healthy, exercise and take good supplements. Please note that your BODY never craves Ice Cream :), that is your mind telling you a story.

Plexus Worldwide is a new product for me.  I was introduced to by a girlfriend of mine who after making some changes to her lifestyle (including the products) released over 50 lbs in 12 months.  She attributes her health to taking the right products.  Monique, like me, is in her late 40’s and we have tried every ‘diet’ out there.   Most diets don’t work BUT ONLY because we can’t stay on them for a long period of time.  In another post, I share another product that I love that has also helped me release some weight.  If you want more information about the Plexus products, let me know and I would be happy to connect you to the right person.

Check out why I love these product.   Now, please be aware, if you order from this link, I do get paid commission.   Here is the link to check it out:  http://shopmyplexus.com/ranchelle/index.html

 

Attention: Solo Preneurs and Home Based Business Owners

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Building A Business From The Comfort of Your Home

 

3 Common Marketing Mistakes and How You Can Avoid Them

 

Over the last 17 years I have observed a few common mistakes that “solo-preneurs” and people who are in the Direct Sales Business or MLM business make.

Today I want to chat about 3 of the 15 mistakes that I see on a regular basis.

 

Marketing Mistake #1

Thinking You Can BeAll Things to All People

One of the mistakes that those with a small, home-based business or in solo practice make is the reluctance to pick a niche or identify a target audience. Often new and novice business owners believe that by focusing on a niche they will limit their practice: they want to sell their product or service to anyone and everyone. The problem is, it’s REALLY difficult (and expensive!) to market your business effectively to such a large audience. By creating a niche through a specialty service or a more finely targeted audience you make it much easier for your prospects to find you. Let’s look at some examples:

Are you a personal trainer to anyone in your community — or do you specialize in functional training, athletic conditioning or perhaps working with obese or elderly clients?

Perhaps you are building a business selling skincare products, such as Avon, Mary Kay or Arbonne — certainly, you can promote your business to anyone you meet, or you can methodically build your clientele by starting off with a focus on working moms.

Looking at it from the client’s perspective, if you were looking for assistance in making a career transition, would you seek out a Life Coach or a Career Coach?

The idea is to select a niche area within your field or a niche audience and dominate that market. When you become specific about exactly what it is that you do it is much easier to promote and advertise your product or services to the audience more likely to need or want them, which ties into the second mistake…

Marketing Mistake #2

Not Knowing Your Solution

 Too often, wellness professionals, home-based business owners and sole practitioners believe that they are simply selling a product or offering a service. But the most successful believe that they are selling a solution, providing a great benefit, creating results or even enabling a transformation for their clients.

What exactly do we mean by selling a solution? Is a pilates trainer simply teaching a client pilates on a weekly basis, or helping her transform her body through core strength and flexibility? Ever been invited to a Silpada jewelry or Thirty-One bags party? These reps are not just selling accessories — they are offering a “girls night out” and opportunity to enjoy some social interaction with like-minded women rather than just products from catalog. A life coach shouldn’t be selling coaching, they should be promoting the results a client will achieve, like the ability to better balance work and family or to improve communication with their spouse and children.

Whatever your product or service, your clients have an unmet need, a problem or a desire. The better you can communicate that your product or service not only meets that need but provides the best solution, the best results and can transform their lives in some way, the more effective and successful your marketing — and your business — will be.

Marketing Mistake #3

Underestimating Your Value

 Often, new business owners—especially those offering a personal service—base their fee on the fact they have a NEW certification, a NEW business or a NEW product. And as a result, they often miss the mark by charging too little or not doing their research and charging within a range that their target market expects. It all comes down to value – the benefit vs. the cost and your ability to differentiate YOUR product or services based on the value (or transformation or solution) it provides.

Experience does make a difference, but the there are so many other factors that affect perceived value.  Consider this:  you can go to your local gym and hire a personal trainer with five years experience for about $70 an hour; or, you can hire a less experienced trainer that charges $75 per hour, but will come to your home at 6:00 am and be available by phone and email to provide support to you between appointments.  Which provides more value to you? (There is no right or wrong answer here – what matters is which option provides the greatest overall value to you.)  Your clients will be making the same types of value judgments based not just on your experience and certifications, but also on the convenience of scheduling, location, atmosphere, your personal story and how they relate to you.

Another factor to consider is aligning your fee with your goal. How much do you wish to earn and how many clients do you want to work with on a weekly or monthly basis?
This is a very personal decision and again, there is no right or wrong answer. Will you be an elite provider, charging a high fee and serving a few clients? Or do you want to charge a lower fee and be more accessible to a broader audience?

The bottom line is that you are the one who has to get out there and sell your services so it’s important that you set a fee that you are comfortable discussing and that you can easily talk about the benefits, the results or the transformation your client will achieve. Don’t underestimate yourself!